What's been going on around here lately

The Swedish Academy’s decision to not award the Nobel Prize in Literature this spring hit me hard, of course. I figured this would be my year and was counting on the cash prize of a cool million bucks. A man needs a little boost now and then. I know I do. People associate me with radio but I was also a Novelist — okay? Novels. With characters and dialogue. Lonely guys looking out rain-spattered windows at bare trees and wondering, “Who am I anyway?”

I did some of that last Saturday morning. I am married to a perfectionist, and so my faults are more clear to me than necessary. I am 75 years old, people. How many men of 75 are actively engaged in self-improvement? Are there rehab programs for us? Inspirational books aimed at us? No.

I was looking out a rain-spattered window, thinking long thoughts, when a wild turkey strolled into our backyard and onto the terrace as if he owned the place. My love and I live in the middle of a big city, but on the steep wooded slope behind us, raccoons live, and a fox, and wild turkeys who roost in the trees and grow very large because we’re all liberals around here and nobody has a shotgun to shoot them with.

The turkey stood preening himself ten feet away from me, unconcerned about trespassing, and it made me think about freedom, which I experienced for a few years in my childhood. We lived in the country where a boy could disappear into the woods and run around without adult supervision for most of the day. Believe it or not, we had no pagers or cellphones on us to allow our parents to keep close tabs. Kidnappers could’ve descended and taken us away, bound and gagged, in souped-up roadsters and demanded a ransom of a million in nonconsecutive bills. They didn’t because our parents didn’t have the dough. And my parents had other children. Spares. So we were safe, tearing around shooting cap pistols, waving our cowboy hats, and re-enacting white racist violence against native peoples in a way children would not be allowed to do today. When I see a pickup truck with NRA and Confederate flag bumper stickers on it, I see myself when I was eight. Been there.

And in this moment of reverie, my true love said to me, “You really need to do something about your desk.”

I don’t run a perfectionist desk. Like our president, I believe in the creative power of chaos. I thrive on confusion. And my wife is sort of the Washington Post in my life. I come out with a big pronouncement and she says, “But yesterday you told me —” etc.

Marriage to a perfectionist offers many benefits, don’t get me wrong. The kitchen is tidy, the rugs harmonize with the furniture, tools and other necessities are well organized so you don’t run around looking for toilet paper and find it stashed in the china closet.

On the other hand, there are moments when I realize I’m being observed as I perform some simple task such as pouring water out of a boot — she is watching to make sure I do it correctly. She goes through my wastebasket and extracts tiny recyclable things and shows them to me. She has carried on a long-running campaign to get me to take a daily walk at a brisk pace and thereby live longer so she can go on perfecting me into my eighties and nineties.

What I need at this point is a big burst of self-esteem and so I imagined the phone ringing and a Swede announcing that I — me — yours truly — not Philip Roth, not some unknown Lithuanian poet — had won the Nobel Prize in Literature.

And I would walk into the kitchen where the love of my life is standing by the refrigerator, and she’d say, “You left a full carton of milk sitting out on the counter and I don’t know how long it’s been sitting here, do you?” And I’d say, “We’re going to Stockholm this fall. We’ll fly first class. We need to buy some dress-up clothes. I won the Nobel Prize in Literature, Babe.”

This column is a mess and I know it. Very poorly organized. But if I were a Nobel laureate, you’d think it were a work of genius. You wouldn’t think, “Should that be ‘were’ or should it be ‘was?’” You’d think, “He won the Nobel, it must be ‘were.’” And so it is.


928 comments

  • HERE IS A CHANCE TO RETRIEVE YOUR LOST CRYPTO IN JUST FEW HOURS WITH CYBER PHANTOM
    I extend my heartfelt gratitude to Cyber Phantom for their invaluable assistance in reclaiming my funds seamlessly. Penning down this review individually, my intention is to offer guidance to those grappling with the daunting task of retrieving their Bitcoin, despite being told it’s an insurmountable challenge.
    My journey began when I engaged with a binary trading company on Telegram and entrusted them with approximately $1.4 Million United States Dollars. However, upon deciding to disengage after a few weeks, I encountered obstacles in withdrawing my funds. Despite my efforts to contact the binary command through various channels, including phone and email, my pleas went unanswered until I connected with Cyber Phantom.
    Cyber Phantom achieved the seemingly impossible for me, and it’s with immense gratitude that I share my experience with the global crypto community, urging them to leverage the exceptional services of Cyber Phantom. I can attest that their level of service is unparalleled.
    For those seeking assistance, you can reach Cyber Phantom through
    cyber phantom 432 at gmail. com
    TELEGRAM:@CYBERPHANTOM432

    ELODIE BLAKE
  • After retiring from the Healthcare section with over 38 years of service, I thought I’d done everything right—saved diligently, invested wisely, and set myself up for a peaceful retirement. But I got caught in something I never expected. I invested $375,000—my life savings—into what I thought was a legitimate crypto trading platform. It all looked real, until one day, everything disappeared. The platform vanished, and I was left with nothing. I felt sick, angry, and completely lost.

    That’s when I came across PROFESSIONAL WIZARD HACKERS. Honestly, I didn’t have high hopes. I figured once money is gone in the crypto world, it’s gone for good. But from the first conversation, their team was different. They were real professional, honest, and incredibly knowledgeable. They didn’t make wild promises—they explained the process clearly, laid out what they needed from me, and got to work right away.

    To my surprise, the whole process was smoother and faster than I ever expected. They tracked the transaction trail, worked with blockchain data, and coordinated with exchanges. I didn’t have to deal with any of the technical stuff—they handled it all. They kept me updated every step of the way, which really helped me feel at ease.

    After just a few weeks, I couldn’t believe it—they recovered every penny I lost. My savings are now back in my hands, safe and secure.

    If you’ve been scammed or lost money through crypto, I’m here to tell you: don’t give up. PROFESSIONAL WIZARD RECOVERY HACKERS gave me back my peace of mind and my financial future. I can’t recommend them highly enough. They’re the real deal and they can be contacted through their contact details below.

    Contact us today: via ?? Email: professionalwizardrecovery@programmer.net
    Telegram: https://t.me/professionalwizardcryptohackers
    Contact, professionalwizardrecovery@gmail.com
    WhatsApp +44 7442 684963

    Kelly Watson
  • After my retirement, I was really looking for a way to invest money and later decided to invest with a bitcoin trading company. I invested $591,000 with the company, everything was going well on till i tried making a withdraw. They said I have to invest more money till it reaches my withdrawal limit. I did a mistake not to tell my wife about the bitcoin investment company till it turned out to be a scam. Thank goodness she still understands me and was there to carry out the research on how to recover our lost bitcoin. I’m grateful to Mr James whom introduced us to ( recoverydarek@gmail. com ) They where able to recover all our lost bitcoin back .

    Paul Muray
  • After my retirement, I was really looking for a way to invest money and later decided to invest with a bitcoin trading company. I invested $591,000 with the company, everything was going well on till i tried making a withdraw. They said I have to invest more money till it reaches my withdrawal limit. I did a mistake not to tell my wife about the bitcoin investment company till it turned out to be a scam. Thank goodness she still understands me and was there to carry out the research on how to recover our lost bitcoin. I’m grateful to Mr James whom introduced us to ( recoverydarek@gmail. com ) They where able to recover all our lost bitcoin back .

    Paul Murray
  • I’m still in shock as I write this testimony. My credit score has gone from a dismal 417 to an impressive 785 in just a few days. I’m thrilled to share my story, hoping it inspires others who, like me, thought their credit was beyond repair. My credit report was a mess. I had multiple derogatory marks, including late payments, collections, and even a bankruptcy from 2018. The constant stress of dealing with creditors and debt collectors had taken a toll on my mental health. I felt like I was drowning in debt with no lifeline in sight. That’s when I decided to take control of my credit. I researched and reached out to Team JERRY. They guided me through the process, they worked tirelessly to dispute and remove derogatory marks and successfully deleted several late payments and collections from my report. In just a few weeks my credit score has skyrocketed to 802! Appearing on the 3 credit bureaus. The weight has been lifted off my shoulders, and I finally feel in control of my finances. I’ve even started receiving pre-approval offers for credit cards and loans. Jerrylinkcreditgroup@gmail.com. They are second to nothing in poor credit fix,cheers.

    Godwin Fred

Leave a comment