What's been going on around here lately

The Swedish Academy’s decision to not award the Nobel Prize in Literature this spring hit me hard, of course. I figured this would be my year and was counting on the cash prize of a cool million bucks. A man needs a little boost now and then. I know I do. People associate me with radio but I was also a Novelist — okay? Novels. With characters and dialogue. Lonely guys looking out rain-spattered windows at bare trees and wondering, “Who am I anyway?”

I did some of that last Saturday morning. I am married to a perfectionist, and so my faults are more clear to me than necessary. I am 75 years old, people. How many men of 75 are actively engaged in self-improvement? Are there rehab programs for us? Inspirational books aimed at us? No.

I was looking out a rain-spattered window, thinking long thoughts, when a wild turkey strolled into our backyard and onto the terrace as if he owned the place. My love and I live in the middle of a big city, but on the steep wooded slope behind us, raccoons live, and a fox, and wild turkeys who roost in the trees and grow very large because we’re all liberals around here and nobody has a shotgun to shoot them with.

The turkey stood preening himself ten feet away from me, unconcerned about trespassing, and it made me think about freedom, which I experienced for a few years in my childhood. We lived in the country where a boy could disappear into the woods and run around without adult supervision for most of the day. Believe it or not, we had no pagers or cellphones on us to allow our parents to keep close tabs. Kidnappers could’ve descended and taken us away, bound and gagged, in souped-up roadsters and demanded a ransom of a million in nonconsecutive bills. They didn’t because our parents didn’t have the dough. And my parents had other children. Spares. So we were safe, tearing around shooting cap pistols, waving our cowboy hats, and re-enacting white racist violence against native peoples in a way children would not be allowed to do today. When I see a pickup truck with NRA and Confederate flag bumper stickers on it, I see myself when I was eight. Been there.

And in this moment of reverie, my true love said to me, “You really need to do something about your desk.”

I don’t run a perfectionist desk. Like our president, I believe in the creative power of chaos. I thrive on confusion. And my wife is sort of the Washington Post in my life. I come out with a big pronouncement and she says, “But yesterday you told me —” etc.

Marriage to a perfectionist offers many benefits, don’t get me wrong. The kitchen is tidy, the rugs harmonize with the furniture, tools and other necessities are well organized so you don’t run around looking for toilet paper and find it stashed in the china closet.

On the other hand, there are moments when I realize I’m being observed as I perform some simple task such as pouring water out of a boot — she is watching to make sure I do it correctly. She goes through my wastebasket and extracts tiny recyclable things and shows them to me. She has carried on a long-running campaign to get me to take a daily walk at a brisk pace and thereby live longer so she can go on perfecting me into my eighties and nineties.

What I need at this point is a big burst of self-esteem and so I imagined the phone ringing and a Swede announcing that I — me — yours truly — not Philip Roth, not some unknown Lithuanian poet — had won the Nobel Prize in Literature.

And I would walk into the kitchen where the love of my life is standing by the refrigerator, and she’d say, “You left a full carton of milk sitting out on the counter and I don’t know how long it’s been sitting here, do you?” And I’d say, “We’re going to Stockholm this fall. We’ll fly first class. We need to buy some dress-up clothes. I won the Nobel Prize in Literature, Babe.”

This column is a mess and I know it. Very poorly organized. But if I were a Nobel laureate, you’d think it were a work of genius. You wouldn’t think, “Should that be ‘were’ or should it be ‘was?’” You’d think, “He won the Nobel, it must be ‘were.’” And so it is.


927 comments

  • The Best Crypto recovery Expert Consult Ghost Mystery Recovery Hacker

    Ghost Mystery Recovery Hacker specializes in retrieving Stolen Bitcoin, Ethereum, USDC, USDT, TrumpCoin, DogeCoin, and others back from crooks who steal your digital assets. I once encountered the harrowing consequences of a cryptocurrency scam, which plunged me into a deep sense of despair. I can attest, from personal experience, that it is truly a nightmare. My investment, a substantial sum in Eth, was effectively held hostage by an online investment platform. I was elated to learn that my lost assets had been successfully retrieved. To anyone who may find themselves in a similar unfortunate situation, I strongly urge you to maintain hope and seek out meta Ghost Mystery Recovery Hacker through a Google search. I highly recommend Ghost Mystery Recovery Hacker Rest assured that you are getting what you desire for help via.

    Email address: support@ ghostmysteryrecovery. c om

    WhatsApp on (+44) 7480 061765

    Website; ghostmysteryrecovery. c om

    Anna Marie
  • The Best Crypto recovery Expert Consult Ghost Mystery Recovery Hacker

    Ghost Mystery Recovery Hacker specializes in retrieving Stolen Bitcoin, Ethereum, USDC, USDT, TrumpCoin, DogeCoin, and others back from crooks who steal your digital assets. I once encountered the harrowing consequences of a cryptocurrency scam, which plunged me into a deep sense of despair. I can attest, from personal experience, that it is truly a nightmare. My investment, a substantial sum in Eth, was effectively held hostage by an online investment platform. I was elated to learn that my lost assets had been successfully retrieved. To anyone who may find themselves in a similar unfortunate situation, I strongly urge you to maintain hope and seek out meta Ghost Mystery Recovery Hacker through a Google search. I highly recommend Ghost Mystery Recovery Hacker Rest assured that you are getting what you desire for help via.

    Email address: support@ ghostmysteryrecovery. c om

    WhatsApp on (+44) 7480 061765

    Website; ghostmysteryrecovery. c om

    Anna Marie
  • My Successful Recovery

    My experience was neither exciting nor uplifting, but in the end, it served its purpose. I have struggled with a chronic health condition for years, which has drained my finances through ongoing treatments. Looking for a stable and sizable income, I came across an online ad claiming I could earn 100 times what I invested. The process seemed simple and the promises tempting, so I decided to take a chance. I invested $30,000, and within hours, my account showed significant profits. Eager to cash out, I attempted to withdraw the next day, only to be told I needed to pay additional fees something I refused to accept. The platform refused to release my funds. I reached out via phone and email, but received no response. My advice to anyone considering such schemes: steer clear if you’re not well severed in crypto or digital currencies. Their tactics became increasingly aggressive, pushing me to invest more. Frustrated, I reported the issue to local authorities. A detective recommended I consult a specialized cybercrime expert experienced in cryptocurrency scams. That advice turned out to be lifesaving. I quickly contacted TREK Tech Corp, submitted my complaint through their website’s live chat, and provided all necessary evidence. They responded immediately. This skilled team, renowned for their expertise in recovering stolen crypto assets, managed to recover all my funds from the wallet I had transferred them to. Their reputation as a top tier cybersecurity firm in digital asset recovery is well deserved. TREK Tech Corp is committed to exposing and eliminating online scammers. If you find yourself in a similar predicament, reach out to TREK Tech Corp for assistance in reclaiming your assets.

    Website: trektechcorp.net
    Email: trektechcorp1@gmail.com
    trektechcorp@consultant.com

    Claire Sutton
  • How TREK Tech Corp Helped Recover My Lost Cryptocurrency

    TREK Tech Corp stands as the industry’s premier firewall against permanent asset loss. While the blockchain is designed to be immutable, our team of world class cryptographers exploits the nuances of digital forensics to provide a bridge back to inaccessible funds. We specialize in high stakes recovery involving lost private keys, corrupted wallet files, and complex phishing mitigation.

    Our process is built on a foundation of absolute security. When a client engages our services, they aren’t just hiring a technician; they are deploying a sophisticated cybersecurity task force. We utilize cutting edge technology to analyze ledger movements and identify recovery points that standard software cannot reach. At TREK Tech Corp, our mission is simple: we eliminate the permanence of loss, ensuring that human error or malicious actors do not dictate the future of your cryptocurrency portfolio.

    For more Information:
    E-mail: trektechcorp1@gmail.com
    Website: trektechcorp.net
    E-mail: trektechcorp@consultant.com

    Tanja Splitthoff
  • I’ve read countless accounts of people losing bitcoin due to scam. I prefer to begin by emphasising that the groups responsible for bitcoin security have done nothing to aid in the recovery of stolen or lost coins. In my case, someone with access to my emails attacked my computer and stole 4.3 bitcoins. I immediately contacted blockchain, but they wasted my time. I subsequently sought assistance elsewhere and was directed to a bitcoin expert who assisted me in locating and recovering my bitcoins for a fee. After the work was completed, I was delighted to pay more. I am grateful to have received assistance, and I recommend you to contact (zarchxbt @ GMAIL COM).

    Dorothy Davis

Leave a comment