What's been going on around here lately

The Swedish Academy’s decision to not award the Nobel Prize in Literature this spring hit me hard, of course. I figured this would be my year and was counting on the cash prize of a cool million bucks. A man needs a little boost now and then. I know I do. People associate me with radio but I was also a Novelist — okay? Novels. With characters and dialogue. Lonely guys looking out rain-spattered windows at bare trees and wondering, “Who am I anyway?”

I did some of that last Saturday morning. I am married to a perfectionist, and so my faults are more clear to me than necessary. I am 75 years old, people. How many men of 75 are actively engaged in self-improvement? Are there rehab programs for us? Inspirational books aimed at us? No.

I was looking out a rain-spattered window, thinking long thoughts, when a wild turkey strolled into our backyard and onto the terrace as if he owned the place. My love and I live in the middle of a big city, but on the steep wooded slope behind us, raccoons live, and a fox, and wild turkeys who roost in the trees and grow very large because we’re all liberals around here and nobody has a shotgun to shoot them with.

The turkey stood preening himself ten feet away from me, unconcerned about trespassing, and it made me think about freedom, which I experienced for a few years in my childhood. We lived in the country where a boy could disappear into the woods and run around without adult supervision for most of the day. Believe it or not, we had no pagers or cellphones on us to allow our parents to keep close tabs. Kidnappers could’ve descended and taken us away, bound and gagged, in souped-up roadsters and demanded a ransom of a million in nonconsecutive bills. They didn’t because our parents didn’t have the dough. And my parents had other children. Spares. So we were safe, tearing around shooting cap pistols, waving our cowboy hats, and re-enacting white racist violence against native peoples in a way children would not be allowed to do today. When I see a pickup truck with NRA and Confederate flag bumper stickers on it, I see myself when I was eight. Been there.

And in this moment of reverie, my true love said to me, “You really need to do something about your desk.”

I don’t run a perfectionist desk. Like our president, I believe in the creative power of chaos. I thrive on confusion. And my wife is sort of the Washington Post in my life. I come out with a big pronouncement and she says, “But yesterday you told me —” etc.

Marriage to a perfectionist offers many benefits, don’t get me wrong. The kitchen is tidy, the rugs harmonize with the furniture, tools and other necessities are well organized so you don’t run around looking for toilet paper and find it stashed in the china closet.

On the other hand, there are moments when I realize I’m being observed as I perform some simple task such as pouring water out of a boot — she is watching to make sure I do it correctly. She goes through my wastebasket and extracts tiny recyclable things and shows them to me. She has carried on a long-running campaign to get me to take a daily walk at a brisk pace and thereby live longer so she can go on perfecting me into my eighties and nineties.

What I need at this point is a big burst of self-esteem and so I imagined the phone ringing and a Swede announcing that I — me — yours truly — not Philip Roth, not some unknown Lithuanian poet — had won the Nobel Prize in Literature.

And I would walk into the kitchen where the love of my life is standing by the refrigerator, and she’d say, “You left a full carton of milk sitting out on the counter and I don’t know how long it’s been sitting here, do you?” And I’d say, “We’re going to Stockholm this fall. We’ll fly first class. We need to buy some dress-up clothes. I won the Nobel Prize in Literature, Babe.”

This column is a mess and I know it. Very poorly organized. But if I were a Nobel laureate, you’d think it were a work of genius. You wouldn’t think, “Should that be ‘were’ or should it be ‘was?’” You’d think, “He won the Nobel, it must be ‘were.’” And so it is.


743 comments

  • We’ll never forget Vladimir Levin Credit Specialist. In 2024, my husband was declared bankrupt, and we later found out that the mobile home we were living in was part of the bankruptcy. Meanwhile, I had $16k in debt and 8 negative items on my credit report. As a result, we couldn’t qualify for a mortgage, and we felt completely stuck. That is until we came across a glowing review about Vladimir Levin Credit Specialist on a blog. Reaching out to them via email at VLADIMIRLEVINCREDITSPECIALIST@GMAIL.COM
    or calling +1 (943) 900 9495 was a game-changer. Today, we’re homeowners, all negative items have been removed, and our credit scores have soared from 450 and 480 to 790 each—within just 5 days. Thank you, Vladimir Levin!

    Deborah Mayes
  • Wishing good fortune to everyone out here. I went bankrupt last year due to failed business ideas. I used to enjoy playing the lottery for fun but as my situation worsened financially, I sought help to win big this time and found a man called MEDUZA, who has assisted numerous individuals worldwide with their financial issues. This man prepared a powerful spell for me that enabled him to get the secrete lucky numbers for me, I played the game with the numbers and to my astonishment, I discovered that I had won $259 million Jackpot after 2 weeks just has he said; Today, I’m now free of debt and I own different investments globally. Without Meduza, I wouldn’t have made it through the tough times I experienced last year. Truly, MEDUZA is a divine presence among us. If you are currently struggling in aspect of your life, reach out to MEDUZA through the below details.
    Whats-App: +1 807 907 2687
    Email: lordmeduzatemple@hotmail.com
    Website: lordmeduzatemple.com
    Face-book Page: Lordmeduza

    Becca Wood
  • After retiring from the Healthcare section with over 38 years of service, I thought I’d done everything right—saved diligently, invested wisely, and set myself up for a peaceful retirement. But I got caught in something I never expected. I invested $375,000—my life savings—into what I thought was a legitimate crypto trading platform. It all looked real, until one day, everything disappeared. The platform vanished, and I was left with nothing. I felt sick, angry, and completely lost.

    That’s when I came across PROFESSIONAL WIZARD HACKERS. Honestly, I didn’t have high hopes. I figured once money is gone in the crypto world, it’s gone for good. But from the first conversation, their team was different. They were real professional, honest, and incredibly knowledgeable. They didn’t make wild promises—they explained the process clearly, laid out what they needed from me, and got to work right away.

    To my surprise, the whole process was smoother and faster than I ever expected. They tracked the transaction trail, worked with blockchain data, and coordinated with exchanges. I didn’t have to deal with any of the technical stuff—they handled it all. They kept me updated every step of the way, which really helped me feel at ease.

    After just a few weeks, I couldn’t believe it—they recovered every penny I lost. My savings are now back in my hands, safe and secure.

    If you’ve been scammed or lost money through crypto, I’m here to tell you: don’t give up. PROFESSIONAL WIZARD RECOVERY HACKERS gave me back my peace of mind and my financial future. I can’t recommend them highly enough. They’re the real deal and they can be contacted through their contact details below.

    Contact us today: via ?? Email: professionalwizardrecovery@programmer.net
    Telegram: https://t.me/professionalwizardcryptohackers
    Contact, professionalwizardrecovery@gmail.com
    WhatsApp +44 7442 684963

    Kelly Watson
  • Buy Counterfeit Money Online WhatsApp: 1(725) 867-9567 buy fake euros , Buy prop money, prop money for sale
    Buy bogus bills, Buy fake money (WhatsApp: +1(725) 867-9567) Buy counterfeit currency, Buy forged notes, Buy phony cash, Buy sham money, Buy queer bills, Buy spurious currency, Buy imitation money, Buy knockoff bills WhatsApp: +1(725) 867-9567 Buy clone card online (Telegram:Zhaochen44 )
    BUY HIGH QUALITY COUNTERFEIT MONEY ONLINE Telegram : https://t.me/buy_real_and_fake_passport
    Buy Counterfeit euro € online | Where can I buy Canadian currency prop money?
    BUY 100% UNDETECTED COUNTERFEIT MONEY
    Buy Prop Euro Notes https://t.me/buy_real_and_fake_passport
    Buy Fake Euro Notes Online | Buy Fake United State Dollars | Buy fake cad WhatsApp: +1(725) 867-9567
    Buy Fake Euro Notes Online | Buy fake usd | Buy fake canadian dollars (CAD)
    Buy Fake Euro Notes Online | Buy fake us dollars | buy counterfeit Canadian dollars
    Buy Fake Euro Notes Online | Buy fake fake American dollars
    Buy Fake Euro Notes Online | Buy undetectable counterfeit money WhatsApp: +1(725) 867-9567
    Buy Fake United State Dollars Telegram : https://t.me/buy_real_and_fake_passport
    Buy Fake Canadian Dollars | Buy fake usd/aud/cad/CNY/euros/RMB
    Buy Fake Australian Dollars WhatsApp: +1(725) 867-9567
    Purchase fake USD, fake GBP, fake Euros
    Buy 100% undetectable counterfeit money
    Buy high quality undetectable grade AA counterfeit banknotes, we have available USD, CAD, GBP, EU AUD
    Where to buy fake AUD dollars bills melbourne
    Best place to buy counterfeit euro online
    COUNTERFEIT MONEY FOR SALE IN ALL CURRENCIES. WhatsApp: +1(725) 867-9567
    high quality undetectable counterfeit banknotes for sale
    Best place to buy counterfeit money online in Canada WhatsApp: +1(725) 867-9567

    WeChat: Scottbowers44
    https://travelsolution4u.com/buy-fake-currencies-like-rmb/
    https://www.counterfeitdocsforsale.com/buy-undetectable-counterfeit-money/

    Buy Undetectable Counterfeit Money & Registered Documents Online WhatsApp:+1(740)280-2019
    We are the best and Unique producer of Super Undetectable Counterfeit Banknotes 300 million of our products circulating around the world. We offer only original high-quality counterfeit currency NOTES and Documents . We ship worldwide. We also print and sell Grade A banknotes of over 150 currencies in the world. Here is your chance to be a millionaire. Our money is perfectly reproduced, Indistinguishable to the eye and to the touch. We are sending in various sizes, packed and hidden. All our notes carry all the holograms and water marks and passes the light detector test. We will deliver the money directly to your home without the interference of customs. We have a Huge quantity ready in stock. EUROS, DOLLARS AND POUNDS. We are Professionals in counterfeiting and we produce SUPER UNDETECTED COUNTERFEIT MONEY for all currencies. Our notes are industrially and professional produced.

    https://buyrealcurrency.com/product/buy-fake-us-dollars/
    https://buyrealcurrency.com/product/buy-fake-counterfeit-us-bills/
    https://buyrealcurrency.com/product/buy-fake-usd-online/

    Whatsapp……1(725) 867-9567
    Whatsapp……1(725) 867-9567
    Whatsapp……+1(725) 867-9567

    Buy Real and Fake Passports Online Whatsapp……1(725) 867-9567
    Buy German drivers license,Texas drivers license, Spanish passport, Canada drivers license, ID CARD, IELTS, TOEFL, VISA, birth certificate, school diplomas, marriage certificate, US ,GREENCARD, SSN and many other documents in less than five working days. https://buyrealcurrency.com/
    Whatsapp……1(725) 867-9567
    NB: we do this to help people who are in urgent need. Email: authenticnotes5@gmail.com
    Apply for real registered Passport, Visa, Drivers’ License, ID CARDS, Marriage Certificates,
    diplomas etc. for sell. Passport, citizenship, ID cards, driver license, diplomas, degrees, and certificates are also available. Tourist and business visa services available to residents of all 50 states in USA and all nationalities Worldwide. We are unique producers of Authentic High Quality passports, Real Genuine Data Base Registered and unregistered Passports and other Citizenship documents. We can guarantee you a new Identity starting from a clean new genuine Birth Certificate, ID card, Driver’s License, Passports, Social security card with SSN, credit files, and credit cards, school diplomas, school degrees all in an entirely new name issued and registered in the government database system. We use high quality equipment and materials to produce authentic and counterfeit documents. All secret features of real passports are carefully duplicated for our Registered and unregistered documents. We are unique producer of quality false and Real documents. We are the unique producers of the above documents and other products for a number of countries like: USA, Australia, Belgium, Brazil, Canada, Italian, Finland, France, Germany, Israel, Mexico, Netherlands, South Africa, Spain, United Kingdom, Italy, Turkey, etc. we have a full effective team of partners linked in all countries around the world.

    Whatsapp……+1(725) 867-9567

    WhatsApp:+1(740)280-2019

    WeChat: Scottbowers44

    Email: authenticnotes5@gmail.com

    https://linktr.ee/counterfeitdocsforsale
    https://travelsolution4u.com/buy-fake-currencies-like-rmb/
    https://www.counterfeitdocsforsale.com/buy-real-chinese-passport-online/

    keepme alive
  • 在线购买真假护照,购买中国护照(微信:Scottbowers44),购买台湾护照,购买香港护照,购买中国身份证,购买中国驾照,购买中华人民共和国旅行证件,购买中国签证,在中国购买托福、雅思、托业考试成绩。购买人民币假币(Telegram:Zhaochen44)
    (WhatsApp:+1 (725) 867-9567)

    https://buyrealcurrency.com/product/网上出售假美国护照/

    我们以最优价格和卓越品质提供各类签证、旅行证件和护照。我们办理小国护照、多国护照、东南亚出入境协助、护照激活、快速入籍和第二身份规划,为您提供多种选择。

    在线购买护照(微信:Scottbowers44),购买美国护照、中国护照、香港护照、台湾护照、外交护照、购买中华人民共和国旅行证件(Telegram:Zhaochen44)

    (WhatsApp:+1 (725) 867-9567)

    购买假币。(微信:Scottbowers44)购买假美元(USD)、购买假人民币(RMB)、购买假人民币(CNY)、购买假人民币/RMB、购买假币(CNY)、购买假人民币/RMB、购买假加元(CAD)、购买假澳元(AUD)(WHATSAPP:+1 (725) 867-9567)购买假英镑(GBP)、购买假欧元(EUR)、购买假港元($HK)。购买高品质、未被检测的纸币。购买中国旅行证件中华人民共和国, 购买假美元/澳元/加元/人民币/欧元/人民币,购买假欧元钞票,购买假澳元,购买假加拿大元,购买假美元,在线购买假人民币,购买假人民币 Telegram:Zhaochen44

    Telegram : https://t.me/buy_real_and_fake_passport
    https://buyrealcurrency.com/product/buy-chinese-yuan-cny-renminbi/

    在线购买护照(微信:Scottbowers44)、购买合法美国护照、购买中国护照(微信:Scottbowers44)、购买加拿大护照、购买马来西亚护照、购买香港护照、购买台湾护照、合法生物特征护照、购买美国护照、购买欧洲护照、购买澳大利亚护照、购买在政府数据库中注册的护照、购买加拿大居留许可(RP 卡)、获得美国公民身份和绿卡、在哪里可以获得护照?(WHATSAPP:+1 (725) 867-9567)、在线购买驾照、更新护照。

    购买托福、雅思、托业(邮箱:authenticnotes5@gmail.com),购买加拿大公民身份,购买美国公民身份,购买加拿大TCF、TEF、CELPIP、Celta证书,加拿大居留权,直接移民加拿大,购买驾照、身份证,购买美国绿卡(微信号:Scottbowers44),购买社会安全号码 (SSN)、工作许可,获取新身份证、国民保险卡、NIN、SIN,购买SSN,购买结婚证,购买出生证明。在线订购(微信号:Scottbowers44)

    您想以新的身份开启第二人生吗?保护您的隐私,建立新的信用记录,绕过犯罪记录检查,重获自由?

    (微信:Scottbowers44)
    (WhatsApp:+1 (725) 867-9567)
    (邮箱:authenticnotes5@gmail.com)
    (Telegram:+1 (725) 867-9567)

    本公司在制作假护照和其他身份证件方面拥有多年经验。我们使用高品质的设备和材料制作假护照。我们精心复制真护照的所有秘密特征,以制作假证件。我们是高品质假身份证件的最佳制造商。

    (WhatsApp:+1 (725) 867-9567)
    (邮箱:authenticnotes5@gmail.com)
    (Telegram:+1 (725) 867-9567)
    (微信:Scottbowers44)

    https://buyrealcurrency.com/product/buy-real-and-fake-passport/
    https://buyrealcurrency.com/product/网上出售假美国护照/
    https://buyrealcurrency.com/product/buy-10-pounds-online/
    https://buyrealcurrency.com/product/buy-fake-us-dollars/
    https://buyrealcurrency.com/product/buy-fake-5-pounds-online/
    https://buyrealcurrency.com/product/购买假人民币/
    https://buyrealcurrency.com/product/buy-fake-counterfeit-us-bills/
    https://buyrealcurrency.com/product/buy-chinese-yuan-cny-renminbi/
    https://buyrealcurrency.com/product/buy-fake-canadian-dollars-cad/
    https://buyrealcurrency.com/product/buy-fake-australian-dollars/
    https://buyrealcurrency.com/product/在线购买假澳元/
    https://buyrealcurrency.com/product/在线购买假澳元/
    https://buyrealcurrency.com/product/buy-5-euros-fake-banknotes/
    https://buyrealcurrency.com/product/buy-fake-5-pounds-online/
    https://buyrealcurrency.com/product/buy-fake-pounds-online/
    https://buyrealcurrency.com/product/buy-fake-usd-online/
    https://buyrealcurrency.com/product/buy-undetectable-counterfeit-money/
    https://buyrealcurrency.com/product/buy-fake-us-dollars/
    https://buyrealcurrency.com/product/buy-us-dollars-usd/
    https://buyrealcurrency.com/product/buy-fake-usd-online/
    https://buyrealcurrency.com/product/buy-fake-australian-dollars-online/
    https://buyrealcurrency.com/product/buy-fake-pounds-online/
    https://buyrealcurrency.com/product/购买中国护照/
    https://buyrealcurrency.com/product/网上出售假美国护照/
    https://buyrealcurrency.com/product/在线购买护照/
    https://buyrealcurrency.com/product/购买中国护照/
    https://buyrealcurrency.com/product/购买美国驾驶执照/
    https://buyrealcurrency.com/product/网上出售假美国护照/
    https://buyrealcurrency.com/product/buy-fake-us-dollars/
    https://buyrealcurrency.com/product/buy-fake-5-pounds-online/
    https://buyrealcurrency.com/product/buy-fake-counterfeit-us-bills/
    https://buyrealcurrency.com/product/在线购买护照/
    https://buyrealcurrency.com/product/购买真正的美国-英国-中国护照/
    https://buyrealcurrency.com/product/购买真假护照,在线购买护照,购买美国护照/
    https://buyrealcurrency.com/product/网上出售假美国护照/
    https://buyrealcurrency.com/product/buy-fake-counterfeit-us-bills/
    https://buyrealcurrency.com/product/buy-fake-canadian-dollars-cad/
    https://buyrealcurrency.com/product/buy-fake-5-pounds-online/

    keepme alive

Leave a comment