From the Archives: The News from Lake Wobegon - The Best of 1985 (3 CDs)
It may seem like another quiet week in Lake Wobegon — the weather shifts, the
seasons come and go, there’s new life, rekindled old love, familiar pranks. But
everyday events in the little town that time forgot and the decades cannot improve are at once ordinary and miraculous, predictable, and astounding. With this three-disc set, Garrison Keillor captivates, charms, and catches us up on the News from Lake Wobegon, 1985. (Over 3 hours on 3 CDs)
NOTE: THIS IS A PRE-ORDER. SHIPPING WILL BEGIN APRIL 21st)
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The stories:
DISC 1
1. January 5, 1985
1. January 5, 1985
In Lake Wobegon this week, the town’s holiday ornaments came down (some of heavy plywood ones with a big thud). A few New Year’s Eve plans went awry: Hjalmer and Virginia Ingqvist’s daughter and new baby came to visit. The plan was to host a gathering of friends, but when Hjalmer took a look at that baby he thought it looked like an old man and he told everyone he felt ill and canceled the party. The Bunsen brothers had a misunderstanding; Clint and Irene went to bed early; Clarence and Arlene drank so much coffee hoping to be ready for the big evening that they couldn't sleep when they went back home, and Arlene spent the midnight hour ironing and listening to the radio. Father Emil had been having trouble sleeping, but he remembered the Christmas that Sister Arvonne brought him a mystery book. When he hit a certain point in the book, he fell asleep. The reading trick has worked for a while now. The Kruegers used to host big New Year’s Eve parties, until three years ago when the Mister served a potent punch — definitely memorable. The Krebsbachs used to host gatherings as well, but this year — with their new wood-burning stove — they were consumed with thoughts of carbon monoxide and venting.
2. February 2, 1985
It is hard to tell the truth when it is as cold as it has been in Lake Wobegon this week. It is so cold that the days of the week have stood still. A new gold and white Thunderbird was accidentally delivered to Bunsen Motors; it was quite a beauty with all the bells and whistles. Clarence decided to drive it around town, which drew a crowd. But by noon, the delivery truck returned to take it back. Across the street at Krebsbach Chev, a kid from Minneapolis brought in his ’53 Chevrolet. The car wouldn’t start because of the voltage regulator. Florian had the proper part in the back, which made him so proud. It justified keeping all those old parts around. Florian still drives a 20-year-old Chevy with 60,000 miles on it, and he keeps doormats outside both the driver’s and passenger’s doors. Florian seems to live a very conservative life to make up for his crazy brother Julian. There are many tales of Julian that have caused quite a stir — from dancing chickens to small bombs in church.
3. February 16, 1985
The new Tollerud baby that came from Korea was baptized this week with the name of Karen. The church was packed for the baptism, so the minister was able to preach to a large crowd. It was a sermon about doing things for the right reasons, not about doing things to influence the thoughts of others. It was interesting that the Sons of Knutes stayed home for the baptism since they were supposed to head to Florida for the sweetheart weekend. To get the deal at the hotel, they needed 25 to sign up. This brought up memories of “interesting” trips to Seattle and then the big trip to Minneapolis. Passive arguments happen over restaurants, hotel rooms, and what to do. The Knutes just are not good travelers. They tend to look for the worst and they usually find it. The best trip is staying close to home and heading out to the Lake. Mr. Berge is the first to drive out on the icy lake. If he does it successfully, the ice houses go up. Walking into the ice house, you know from the smell that you have entered the man cave.
DISC 2
1. March 23, 1985
The green is starting to appear in Lake Wobegon as the snow disappears. It is a pure tease to the residents. Mr. Berge thinks that spring is here and he has broken out his spring clothes, including the Hawaiian shirts. He is such a positive fella — picks up coins on the ground just in case he finds a lucky one. One day, sitting on the porch years ago, he drank a cup of coffee that had mosquito eggs in it. He knew that they had hatched because he started feeling funny and jumpy. To solve the problem, he ate boxes of bran flakes, which only caused another problem. When he went to the doctor, he spied a lucky nickel and he grabbed it. Lo and behold, the problems were cured. Two bluebirds showed up this week. And as Ella Anderson made her way down the steps into the backyard, she gave a little whistle and the birds came to her. The neighbors have plenty of feeders, but the birds all tend to hang in Ella’s yard. Pastor Ingqvist visits every week and gives her a condensed version of the sermon. This week he steered clear of the Song of Solomon in order to avoid the saucy parts. He didn’t want to talk to Ella about it, but he also didn’t want to put the ideas into the heads of young boys.
2. April 20, 1985
It is a hot week in Lake Wobegon, sapping everyone’s strength. There is no good thing as good worth. It is purely conversational weather. The seasons in Minnesota allows for nice chatter. Hawaii is paradise but you need to find something else to talk about. There was a bird in town flying around just singing two notes (the second note slightly flat). It became irritating. What type bird was it? Looking too closely at the birds can be depressing. The male brings in the garbage and the female does all the work making a home. The male just sits on the windowsill looking worried as she works; maybe he is thinking about earthworms. Maybe he is worrying about the young ones not leaving the nest. The fields did dry out this week and the corn planting got finished. Roger’s tractor didn’t even get stuck in the field this year. Though over the winter a mouse did make a little home in the tractor seat and as Roger started out on the tractor, the mouse hopped out of the seat and climbed up his pant leg. Up and up the mouse crawled which made Roger jump up and the tractor went out of control through the yard, the garden and into the ditch. Florian Kresbach was a witness, so the story made it to town quickly.
3. May 18, 1985
The great gardening campaign has started, including the great tomato sweepstakes. Clarence Bunsen was the first to get the plants into the ground, but his got nipped by the cold. In the middle of the night, he slipped out to the nursery and bought replacements. Harold Diener got a garden tiller — a new type. It went out of control and started to dig straight down. As expected, the event brought out the neighbors, who had plenty of opinions to offer. It’s also the time of year when the skies open up and flood the fields. The storm this week sure got everyone’s attention because not only was it a flood but also the winds came up and took down a number of signs. Mr. and Mrs. Lundberg had a hard time getting a good night’s sleep this week. They fretted about getting enough sleep for nights in a row, and on Wednesday when they finally got to sleep, they woke to a chunk of plaster coming down from the bedroom ceiling. Because it was something that the Mrs. nagged about, the evening became filled with a lot of “I told you so.” The next morning, Mr. Lundberg worked hard to clean up the mess and in the process, he vacuumed up a small bottle of superglue, which landed on his shoe, then his hand and to his head — which landed him in the St. Cloud hospital.
4. July 6, 1985
The report from Lake Wobegon was that once again it was very quiet this week. The question is, are the townspeople telling the truth? Because they have lied in the past. Many lies or secrets were told by parents, but little kids fibbed as well. The host remembers one time when Aunt Pearl had just finished making peanut butter cookies when he walked in the door. She went upstairs to blow her nose, and he made off with a pile of cookies. He was caught and he dreamed up a story about taking them for the Lundbergs. Well, that was a lie but because she thought it was a good idea, she offered to go with him to drop them off. Pastor Ingqvist and his family went on vacation, leaving room for a substitute minister to take over for three weeks. This year the synod sent a retired minister, Pastor Turnblad. He was known for sermons where he continued to talk till he figured out what he wanted to say. After a couple of weeks, everyone was starting to miss predictable Pastor Ingqvist. There was so much complaining that they arranged for Wally Dimmers (a member of the volunteer fire department) to go and pull the fire alarm around 11:30 so the other members of volunteer fire department could get up and leave. Well, the idea backfired because as the volunteer crew sat up straight expecting the alarm to go off, the minister took it as a sign of interest, so he kept going and going with the sermon. The alarm didn’t go off till after they were out of church so instead of going home for dinner, they had to go to the fire department.
DISC 3
1. October 12, 1985
DISC 3
1. October 12, 1985
The leaves have started to fall in Lake Wobegon and the residents have started burning them. It is a questionable, enjoyable experience. It brings back memories of the big fires in town — a grain mill fire and a Christmas tree fire. Clarence Bunsen has lost about twenty pounds and is walking with a lighter step. It is big news since most folks as they get older in Lake Wobegon get heavier. It took a glimpse of himself in a full length mirror to trigger the weight loss. The guys at the Sidetrack Tap just can’t understand why Clarence even bothers to come. He has a glass of water or club soda. They come to the Sidetrack to drink so when they go home they can’t hear all the questions from their wives. Axel, one of the Norwegian bachelor farmers, got a dish for his TV — one of the first in Lake Wobegon. The satellite dish is on a motorized mount. It moves based on the channel he watches, whether it is a Christian channel or a dirty movie. It is a topic of conversation. The farmers love to tell the story about one of the residents who bought camper to get out of the house and away from the children. One night they took it out to the gravel pit and parked it on unlevel ground. An unfortunate experience happened when the wife moved the camper and the husband fell out the door (and she didn’t notice). Senator K is thinking about getting married to a woman from Brainerd. He met her on the bus to Florida but had seen her since he was back in Lake Wobegon this summer. He called her a little while ago and his heart went all a-flutter.
2. November 23, 1985
Being far away, it’s hard to get news from Lake Wobegon because Wobegonians are a secretive people. When the host stays away for a long time, he starts to wonder if Minnesota is a made-up place, though he knows it is real. The exiles are heading home for Thanksgiving, which brings up many memories, like when everyone had flu, including mother. She gave Pepto Bismol so what came up smelled a bit better. Neighbors felt bad and brought over turkey à la king for Thanksgiving dinner, which in itself was not appealing. Many folks are coming into Lake Wobegon, including Senator K.’s new true love. Will she be turned off by the manners of the people at the table or the stories that they tell? Each guest has his or her own unique quirks, which might scare off a new visitor. There are stories of love in Lake Wobegon — like Ella Anderson who is married to a man much older than she is. He now lives more days in his past than the present, but she loves him. The host remembers reuniting with an old classmate this past summer and as she left, the thoughts remain. To help people feel that special feeling, he asks the audience to sing, “My Father, How Long?”
3. December 7, 1985
The snow finally arrived for real in Lake Wobegon. The residents knew it was here to stay, in all its shades of white and gray. Clint Bunsen even resorted to staying inside watching a TV show about the morals of humanity. When he’d had enough of that, he stepped outside, stood in the middle of the yard, and watched the snow fall. He remembered when the Roths from Chicago landed on his doorstep during a blizzard. They stayed for three full days. It was such an interesting time that Clint hoped for another knock at the door. As Clint was outside, he did see Pastor Ingqvist out looking for Val Tollefson’s dog — Rick, the TV dog. Rick is famous for scrounging in garbage cans and watching black-and-white TV. The Tollefsons had taken in Rick a few months back and the dog was still living with them. After stopping by many of the Lake Wobegon residents’ homes looking for Rick, Pastor Ingqvist found him behind the Sidetrack. This allowed Pastor to return the pup to where he belonged, at the Tollefson’s.
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